Texans Do Not Understand Me.
June 8th, 2008Howdy from the Lone Star State.
This is a picture of me sporting a cowboy hat in a shop near Austin. If you are suddenly overcome with the urge to call me “Sir”, do not worry. You are not alone.
Apparently, here in Texas having short hair and wearing cargo pants mean that I am a man.
Doesn’t boobs and pregnancy mean anything to these people?
Case #1:
I stumble into a Super 8 in Austin and man at the front desk said “How can I help you sir?” After I gave him my ID to book the hotel, he said, “I’m so sorry, ma’am.” He was forgiven.
Case #2:
I stroll into a Baymont Inn the very next day in Houston. The bouncy blonde behind the counter not only called me “Sir”, she didn’t correct herself after I had showed her my ID. How upsetting. She was not forgiven.
Case #3:
Even Kit tagged me as himself on Facebook. Do I look like a Kit Yan to you?!
Texans are not the only ones who are confused by my gender. Toyota servicemen are also easily confused.
Case #4:
In Chicago, IL a man came over and said, “Gentlemen have you been helped yet?”
Case #5:
In Tucson, AZ a man came over and said, “Gentlemen have you been helped yet?”
Finally, in a Dairy Queen somewhere in Florida between Alabama and Tallahassee, I went over the edge.
Case #6:
The lady messed up my order and had to call her manager over to help. She kept referring to me as “he”, even after her manager referred to me as “she”. Then when my order came, she said in a very loud voice “It’s his!”
This is very distressing to me. Since then I have taken up a variety of feminine activities such as ironing,
skirt-wearing,
crying,
and bearing Kit Yan’s children.
Tour Quote of the Day:
“This is the smartest song ever written!” Melissa on The Song That Doesn’t End
June 9th, 2008 at 12:14 am
It’s so true about Texas. I’m a Texan; I know how it is. Hell, I come from Austin, and that’s as good as it gets in Texas, but still anyone wearing a beater, cargos, or having short hair is definitely a man; boobs count for nothing. What can I say? Texans think in very linear, simple terms that don’t leave room for the variety that exists everywhere right under their noses.
Hope you otherwise enjoyed your stay in the great state of Texas. We’re good folk, really. XD
June 10th, 2008 at 3:01 am
Case #3:
Even Kit tagged me as himself on Facebook. Do I look like a Kit Yan to you?!
I would not wish that upon anyone.
Melissa, you are tooo funny in this blog!
June 27th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Melissa, you are too hilarious! When are you coming to MD?!